Part of ACT 1 in the Sunny Script

ACT 1

INT. PADDY’S PUB – DAY

Mac is standing up at the bar, where Dennis and Charlie are seating facing Mac.

MAC

I say the girls oughta be knockouts.

I mean really sexy.

DENNIS

You said it. Nothing but blonde-

bombshells, with huge knockers.

CHARLIE

Yeah, definitely. But maybe we should

get a smart girl or two, ya know.

Mac and Dennis look confused.

MAC

Why would we want a smart girl?

CHARLIE

Well, I was thinkin’, if some of

the girls aren’t whores, then maybe

the show will be more interesting.

DENNIS

The less brains the better.

FRANK burst into Paddy’s and heads behind the bar.

FRANK

Where the hell’s Dee’s computer?

The gang looks up to see what is happening.

MAC

How should we know, Frank!

DENNIS

Yeah, besides, we’re a little busy

here, Frank.

FRANK

I gotta find that damn computer.

CHARLIE

What’s the big deal, dude?

FRANK

I’m buyin’ a Russian whore off the

Internet and I need Dee’s computer.

The gang LAUGHS at Frank.

DENNIS

Why on earth would you want a mail-

order bride?

MAC

Aren’t you always talking about how

much you hate the Russians?

Frank stops looking around and address the gang.

FRANK

Yeah, I do.

Frank smiles devilishly and motions with his hands.

FRANK (CONT’D)

But what better way to stick it to

those Commy bastards, than to stick it

to one of their daughters?

Mac and Charlie nod. Dennis looks disgusted.

CHARLIE

When you’re right, you’re right.

DENNIS

You and Dee are unbelievable.

Nothing you’re saying is making

sense, Frank. The Cold War ended

like twenty years ago, the Russians

are our allies, and you can’t even

use a computer.

LIAM MCPOYLE (O.S.)

Hey man. Computers are getting

LIAM MCPOYLE (CONT’D) (O.S)

easier. He’ll figure it out.

The gang turns to see who is talking and find RYAN and LIAM MCPOYLE sitting in a booth, behind their laptop. Dennis drops his head.

DENNIS

Oh, goddamn it. Who let McPoyles in

the bar?

CHARLIE

Man, those guys are complete freaks.

FRANK

Well get them the hell outta here.

RYAN MCPOYLE

We’re right here. We can hear you

saying that.

Mac puffs out his chest and raises his fist in the air.

MAC

Then hear this. You and your circus

freak brother are banished from Paddy’s.

LIAM MCPOYLE

Hey. It’s all good. Chillax.

Charlie gets upset, SLAMS his fist on the bar, and SHOUTS.

CHARLIE

Get out of here, dude. Get outta the bar.

Dennis restrains Charlie.

DENNIS

You boys better split before we let

the dogs loose.

The McPoyles get up and head for the door, turning around before they leave.

LIAM MCPOYLE

It’s a shame we can’t be friends.

Frank points to the door.

FRANK

Scram.

The McPoyles walk out.

CHARLIE

Oh my god, I hate those guys. Did

you smell them?

MAC

Yeah, it was indescribably gross.

Frank goes to the back office.

FRANK

I’m gonna look for the computer

in here.

DENNIS

It’s like they bathe in milk and

each others sweat.